


Ominaeshi

by ravebot



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Lesbian Character, M/M, but there's background narusasu too, chapter 700 absolutely did not happen, primarily a sakuino fic, sort of follows canon but changes some stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-20 11:59:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8247958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravebot/pseuds/ravebot
Summary: An AU where Sakura gets treated right by the narrative. She's a powerful and invaluable shinobi. And perhaps a big ol' lesbian.





	1. Chapter 1

The air had that fresh, crisp feel it only carries when summer begins to shift into autumn. It was the first day in weeks where the humidity wasn’t the first thing you noticed when you stepped outside. It was clear that everyone appreciated the periodic shift in climate, as the town nestled comfortably in the forest was bustling with life this Sunday morning. Sakura stood up from the stoop of her parent’s home upon which she was sitting and stretched her arms towards the clear blue sky overhead.

Rested.

Relaxed.

 _Relieved_.

Sakura couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this way. Relief was an undervalued feeling, and she clung to it now, for the first time in months or perhaps even longer. Funny that she should feel this way now, and not at summer’s start, when things began to feel normal again for the first time in a long time. Team 7 had been reunited for that long, after all. Maybe not in the traditional sense, as there was little reason for four powerful jounin to work together regularly when shinobi of their caliber were few and far between. But they all called Konahagakure their home now and that was enough. In fact they had all shared brunch together last week, an occurrence so rare with their busy schedules you may very well just call it a cryptid sighting.

A reunion was like a solidification of the past; a confirmation that things felt and shared between young shinobi years ago were not a delusion developed by a desperate mind. This was different. This was the start of something.

Sakura looked down at her hands. The pastel purple nail polish was already chipping off, which was just as well because she was starting to think it didn’t suit her. But she had wanted to look special for such a momentous occasion. She closed her eyes and thought back to last night.

Food, dancing, laughter.  

Sakura hadn’t ever laughed so much as she did watching Naruto clumsily trying to match Sasuke’s fluid movements as they shared what was so clearly their first dance together. Naturally, neither of them thought to _practice_ before the wedding. They were never ones for common sense, but when you had the love of another to fall back on so consistently, did you really even need it that much? The way they made their way around the crowd of people all night long, Naruto anxiously taking the lead, pulling Sasuke along, thanking everyone in attendance. One radiant grin after another from Naruto. A small nod and the vaguest hint of a smile from Sasuke. His feelings always presented themselves more in his eyes, after all. But they never let go of each other’s hands for more than a moment. Of course they’d cling to each other this hard, after all they’ve gone through, after every hurdle they’ve made it over to get to now. Sakura’s relief, she realized, was the kind you feel when a close friend who has been having a difficult time finally cracks a smile at one of your jokes. Two of her closest friends finally had what she always knew they needed. A life together.

And now on this Sunday morning, they were somewhere up north, enjoying time together in a colder, whiter place, as if they weren’t two of the most valuable shinobi the village had at its disposal. No guards, even. Naruto knew Sasuke would never feel comfortable under the watchful eye of strangers, so he stubbornly refused whatever protection Tsunade tried to offer, bragging that his strength alone was enough to protect them from anything. Maybe he was right.

The sun was creeping higher into the sky, and Sakura felt her skin tingle with the day’s warmth. It wasn’t quite autumn weather yet. But change was in the air, for sure. Sakura wondered what kind of changes were in store for her. More and more lately, ever since the engagement, she wondered what was next. She tightened her grip on the watering can in her hand and crouched down, remembering that she had come out here to tend to her parents’ new garden. The landscaper had arrived just last week. Her parents had wanted to freshen up the appearance of their home now that the repairs were finally finished. Sakura thought this was a lovely way to do that. It made the quaint home feel all the more inviting. She began gingerly watering the plants, starting with yellow ones which grew many small flowers in vibrant clumps, bright as the sun overhead.

The ominaeshi were her favorite for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of these chapters will be pretty short, my apologies.
> 
> EDIT: Made a few cosmetic changes.


	2. Chapter 2

After such a fun-filled Saturday and a lazy Sunday, Sakura wasn’t exactly looking forward to putting on the white lab coat hanging over her chair, pressed and ready to go. But ‘vacation’ was a foreign concept to medicinal practice. And Sakura had to admit that she, not unlike Naruto, always felt antsy without something to work on. And since high ranking missions were fortunately few and far between lately, Sakura was able to devote more and more time to her research. At the hospital, she checked into the lab and greeted her juniors, who were just finishing up the prep work necessary to begin the day’s research. 

“Good morning, Doctor,” they chirped. 

“Good morning everyone, let’s work hard today!”

Sakura had built up quite a respectable reputation since she was put in charge of Tsunade’s research. Sakura was the head researcher on a massive project to formulate a medicine which could regenerate human cells faster than Tsunade's famous ability, with less risks. To be able to regenerate a person’s cells without their lifespans being shortened would be a revolutionary discovery. While progress was slow, the goal was noble, and everyone appreciated Sakura’s dedication. This was the first weekend she had taken off in months. 

Tsunade had been working on this with persistence in her (somewhat limited) spare time for years. Sakura was always by her side, learning more every day. But when Tsunade was effectively out of commission after overusing her healing abilities to save so many lives following Pein’s attack on the village, the project was sidelined by the village elders, who thought it was too idealistic and costly. The funds were directed back into strengthening Konahagakure’s military defenses. 

But after the shinobi alliance, when the political climates of each village began to shift away from militant authoritarianism and political figureheads were tried in court for crimes of negligence or even outright violence against village citizens, Tsunade saw an opportune time to reignite the project. The newly formed committee of clans approved the project’s funding right away, believing it to be worth whatever it cost. Sakura knew this was, in part, due to the impassioned speeches given by many of her fellow shinobi the day before the formal decision was to be made. Tsunade felt it was important for the younger generation to be the primary voices in any political decision. “The future of the village rests in the hands of our children,” she always said. 

Sakura was one of many who spoke in front of the committee that day. As a highly skilled jounin who had experience as both a combatant and a medical aid in battle, Sakura found it hard to limit her speech to the 5 minutes of time allotted per speaker. In the end she decided to focus on what she knew the committee would most want to hear about: Naruto and Sasuke. As two powerful shinobi from all but extinguished clans, Sakura knew that if she raised ‘what ifs’ in the minds of the clan committee about the fate of Naruto and Sasuke they would be swayed to listen. While Sakura knew Sasuke and Naruto were perfectly happy with their limb replacements (and, although they might not say so, Sakura knew that they both secretly thought they looked much cooler with them), she also knew that if any one thing had gone differently they could have lost more than just a limb, and that their lives, and thus the livelihood of their respective clans, would be all but entirely lost to history as a result. This is what she told the committee. 

In the end, the tactic was effective, and Tsunade placed the project in the most capable hands she knew of: Sakura’s. It was true that no one else knew as much about the original project’s research than she did. It was true that her medical prowess and her dedication to the cause were unmatched by anyone but Tsunade herself. But because her strength and tactical skills were still needed from time to time during missions, Sakura convinced Tsunade to hire a second-in-command who would be capable of running the project when she was called out for a mission that required her impressive strength and advanced knowledge of genjutsu. 

“Did you have a nice vacation, Sakura?” 

Ino smirked at Sakura from across the room. Sakura made a show of rolling her eyes, but she knew Ino was just kidding around. This is always how their relationship had been, ever since they were kids. 

Sakura hadn’t seen Ino around very much until the summer started and the research project was reinitiated. For those three hardest years, when Team 7 was all but defunct and the world was thrown into turmoil with yet another war, Sakura wasn’t the only one who was dedicated to personal growth. Ino too had made vast improvements, and had earned the title of Doctor along with Sakura. While she normally spent her time as a patient doctor at the hospital when she wasn’t on missions, Ino was also in charge of filling in for Sakura when other work, or in this case, the wedding of her two closest friends, demanded her attention. Tsunade allowed Sakura to choose who she wanted to fill this important position.

“Pick someone who is to you what Shizune is to me,” Tsunade had told her. “But remember, a person like that only comes into your life once.” 

Sakura knew immediately that Ino was the right choice. The person to fill this roll had to be someone Sakura could count on 100%. And it had to be someone Sakura would be comfortable communicating with on a regular basis. The job demanded full disclosure between the substitute and the head researcher, or else valuable project information might be lost in the shuffle. 

“Vacation? I don’t know the meaning of the word. Let’s get started.”

Ino snorted. She never knew anyone as devoted to anything as Sakura was to this project. “Ok, ok, Miss Serious Business. But let’s get together tonight to debrief what you missed from the weekend.”

Sakura gave her a firm nod. “Right. The usual place?”

**“The usual place.” **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Made some minor cosmetic changes


	3. Chapter 3

‘The usual place’ was a small cafe with a large outdoor patio area. It was one of Sakura’s favorite places to spend an evening and she knew Ino felt the same. Hanging baskets of flowers decorated the patio with bright colors. Surprisingly, the floral scent mixed with the other smells of a cafe melded well together, and Sakura thought perhaps that was why she always felt so at home here with Ino facing her from across the small, round table they were sitting at. Once the waiter came to take their drink orders Sakura opened up her notebook and grabbed the pen she kept stashed behind her ear. “Okay, let’s get started. Give me all the details.”

Ino looked at her with mock disgust. “You really are a nerd Sakura… ”

“What? I’m just looking forward to hearing what happened with the project while I was away.”

“At least wait for our drinks to come first.”

“I’d rather get it out of the way.”

Sakura had that anxious look her eyes that she always got when work occupied her thoughts. It wasn’t because she was stressed out or overwhelmed, she was just that eager to make progress with her research. Knowing this, Ino couldn’t help but cater to her enthusiasm. She sighed and folded her hands on the table in mock seriousness.

“Okay, let’s get you what you came here for shall we?”

Sakura readied her pen in her hand. Ino smiled at the small gesture of zeal, but of course Sakura was too focused to pay it any notice.

“Basically progress has been the same as when you last looked at the data,” Ino said. “It’s very subtle, but we have noticed that cells regenerate a bit faster when introduced to medicine X under stabilized conditions. It’s not Tsunade’s jutsu by any means, but it’s something. More than any medicine has done before.”

“Ah, that’s great to hear!” Sakura exclaimed, writing frantically although she hadn’t really heard any new information. Any note could come in handy in the future.

The waiter came with their drinks just as Sakura finished writing. She finally looked up from her notebook to see Ino grinning at her. She was smirking for sure, but Sakura felt something more genuine underneath the surface, trying to push through. They both thanked the waiter, and Sakura was suddenly aware that the energy at the table was shifting. Ino wasn’t grinning anymore, but she was still staring at Sakura.

Wistfully?

Sakura couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Ino twirled her bright blonde hair with her fingers, something Sakura learned she always did while deep in thought. But it had been a while since she had seen her this way, even while at work.

“Sakura, it’s been awhile since we last caught up! Tell me, how was your mini vacation? Did you enjoy the wedding?”

“It was really lovely,” Sakura exclaimed, and she meant it. “It was odd to not be in the lab, and even stranger to be all dressed in something formal instead of a lab coat. But the ceremony was really touching. I cried a lot. And I laughed more than I have in a long time, since I was a kid maybe.”

“I kind of wish I could have gone, actually. I haven’t seen much of Naruto or Sasuke since we were kids.”

“They’re so much different than they were when you knew them. But also, in some ways, they’re exactly the same.” Sakura laughed, and her eyes softened in the yellowy light of cafe lanterns and the setting sun surrounding the place. “They really are in love, Ino. They’re… really something else.”

“And how do you feel?” Ino asked, thoughtfully.

Sakura was a bit taken aback by the question. How _she_ felt? She lightly tapped her fingers on her coffee mug. “I mean, I feel happy. I’m happy for them of course. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. It really feels like things are changing now, for the better. It wasn’t until after the wedding that I realized it, but the entire town feels different. And they feel different. They’re moving forward.”

“Do you feel like you’re moving forward too?”

Again, Sakura was a bit taken aback by the directness of Ino’s question. But she _has_ always been like this, cutting straight to the heart of a matter. “Honestly Ino, I think I should be moving forward but I’m not sure if I am just yet. I feel a little stuck.” Sakura always felt like she could be honest with Ino, probably because Ino was known for being blunt. She didn’t feel the need to hide from Ino because Ino never shied away from her.

“But it’s been awhile since we’ve talked like this,” Sakura added, curiosity creeping up on her. “What makes you want to discuss this now?”

“Well just like you, Sakura, this wedding has caused me to start thinking about the future more than I was. As a matter of fact, ever since I heard about the engagement I’ve been giving this some thought. Remember when we were kids, and we were rivals?”

Sakura chuckled fondly. “I think we still are rivals. You come closer to surpassing me every day.”

Ino laughed with her, but her eyes remained serious. “Well, I realized recently what a rival really means to me.”

“Huh?” Sakura burned her tongue on her coffee. Ow. What was she talking about?

Ino folded her hands neatly on the table, but her expression let on that she wasn’t just poking fun at Sakura this time. She leaned in a little closer. “Sakura, I used to think a rival was just someone you compete with. Someone worthy of competing with. As a kid, I always thought I had my eye on Sasuke. But that whole time, the reality was that I had my eye on you.”

Sakura frowned. She wasn’t understanding. Why was she talking about Sasuke? The two hadn’t talked about him this way since we were both still in the academy. Ino, probably sensing her confusion, continued to speak in earnest.

“Don’t you see, Sakura? I thought we were competing over Sasuke. I thought that’s how our friendship started. I thought that was why we remained friends so long; that we shared a common goal. But somewhere along the way, Sasuke fell out of the picture entirely. When we all graduated, I stopped thinking about him. But I never stopped thinking about you.”

Sakura could feel her face getting warm. What was this? What was happening here?  Something about this felt so different than every other time they had met up here. It was the same place, filled with much of the same people. Even this table was their usual one. But something had changed. Again she was filled with those Sunday feelings. What changed?

Ino wrapped her hands around her cup and sighed quietly, but didn’t lower her gaze. “Sakura, I know you’re pretty dense but I’d think even you would be able to tell when someone was confessing their feelings to you.”

Sakura’s eyes widened in shock. Her face felt hot. She finally understood. Sort of. But where was this coming from?

“Ino I… uh… Things sure have changed a lot since we were little kids. I haven’t heard you mention Sasuke’s name in such a context in a long time. I’m still a little confused about how you’re defining a ‘rivalry’.” She scratched her head nervously. She knew she had sensed a shift in the atmosphere, but she was too afraid to directly address it.

“Sakura I can tell you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by this. Do you need some water? Or something to eat? We can talk about this later.”

“No!”

Ino raised her eyebrows, surprised by Sakura’s forcefulness.

“I want to understand Ino. We’re friends. You’re my closest friend besides Naruto and Sasuke…” She sighed heavily. “I won’t leave this table until I understand your perspective.”

“How noble of you.” Ino smirked, and although her tone was that of playful banter, Sakura could tell her response had made Ino feel genuinely happy.

“Sakura, a rival is someone you always look to. It’s someone who you compare yourself to, and someone you grow off of. A rival is, most importantly, your goal. So you never lose sight of them, because if you do, you might lose. I made you my rival, and I thought it was simply because we were equals, worthy of each other’s competition. But recently, I started wondering why I always had my gaze intent on you, even when I no longer needed you to motivate myself to be better. And after I found out about Naruto and Sasuke’s engagement, I realized what had happened.”

She smiled softly, and took a long sip from her mug. “Sakura, I always thought I’d feel at least a hint of jealousy about Sasuke. I thought, since he was my first crush, there’d be a tiny part of me that wondered what life would be like if he had chose me instead of Naruto. But it was only after the engagement that I realized I hadn’t even thought about Sasuke in years. This guy, who I thought our rivalry was based on, he wasn’t even on my radar. It was only you. I’ve only thought about you all this time. I always wondered how you were doing; I always rooted for you to become stronger. And I always admired you. I still do. And that’s when I had a revelation. I don’t see you as just a rival anymore. My feelings are much more affectionate than that now. I…” she drifted off, unsure of how to continue.

Sakura felt like she had just taken a leap off a cliff and was now free falling. But she didn’t feel awful. There was fear in her gut, but that took a backseat to all of the other feelings fluttering inside her. Was this the kind of change that was in store for her? “Ino,” she said softly, “are you saying you love me?” The last couple words were almost inaudible in the noisy cafe. Only then did Sakura notice how red Ino’s face was. It looked kind of funny, contrasted to that bright yellow hair of hers. She almost laughed. Almost.

Ino let out a long, relieved sigh and leaned back in her chair, arms and legs splayed out like a puppet whose strings were just cut. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I didn’t think it would be this difficult.” She chuckled. “You always complained to me about how oblivious Naruto was about his feelings and about Sasuke’s feelings towards him. But I think you’re just as bad.”

“Hey!” Sakura exclaimed, indignantly. “That’s not true… you caught me off guard!”

Ino rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath.

“What? I might even be worse? Come on, that’s not fair!”

Ino grinned. “I know. You’re doing your best. I guess I could have been a little more direct, huh? Well anyways, I think I’ve said all I can say for one evening. I’m going to let you think on it.” Quick as lightning, Ino had already stood up and was counting out money to leave for the tip.

“Hey, wait a minute, what am I supposed to be thinking about?”

“How you feel, silly!” She winked. “You have to figure out what having me as a rival means to you.”

And then she was gone; disappearing into the crowd of people making their way up and town the busy downtown street. That was just as well. Sakura didn’t want her friend to see her face heating up, for reasons she couldn’t explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Made some minor cosmetic changes.


	4. Chapter 4

Sakura wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed by before she was able to collect herself and make her way back home, but the sun had definitely disappeared behind the horizon, leaving only a faint glow in an otherwise blackening sky. It was a beautiful night, albeit a bit chilly, and there were many stars twinkling brightly overhead. For some reason, Sakura felt like they were looking down on her, like all-seeing eyes. She shivered and made her way home as quickly as possible, trying not to make eye contact with any of the people she passed by. 

It was only once she slowly and quietly slid open the front door, slipped off her shoes, and stepped inside did she recognize the source of her discomfort. Self-consciousness. Sakura connected that word with the feeling of her stomach dropping when, as she entered her home, realized the kitchen light was on. Her parents were home, and for whatever reason, she didn’t want to be seen by them. But there was no way to avoid it, as she had to pass through the kitchen to walk up the wooden stairs to the security of her bedroom. 

“Mom, dad, is that you?”

Her mother appeared in the doorway, a warm smile on her face. She wiped her hands on her apron. “Oh sweetie, you’re home! I thought you’d be home sooner. Your dad is already in bed. I set aside extra food for you.”

Sakura tried for a smile, but from the feel of it it probably came off as a grimace.

“I’m sorry to surprise you like this, I know we weren’t supposed to be home until the end of the week. But work finished up a little quicker than expected.” She was, unfortunately, quick to notice Sakura was uncharacteristically detached from the conversation. “Long day at work today?”

“Well yes, but, no. Actually I was grabbing coffee with Ino.” 

“Good, you need to relax more. Your father and I are very proud of you, but you work too hard sometimes!” She sounded absolutely parental. “You’ve been hanging around with Ino more and more lately, it reminds me of when you were still my little girl in the academy. I’m glad you still have a social life.” 

Sakura was already slowly making her way towards the staircase. “I’m doing just fine, mom.” She said flatly. She wondered if she was really trying to convince her mom, or herself. “Thanks for the food,” she added, feeling a bit guilty. Her mother was just trying to show that she cared, after all.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

Once in her pajamas and sitting on her bed, she knew could not sleep yet. She needed a bath. That would help her relax. Across the hall, she begins running the water as she strips down to her bare skin. The chill makes her shiver, but a few minutes more and the water in the tub is steaming. When all but her head is submerged, she begins to feel muscles relax that she didn’t even know had been tense. She wanted to say this stress was work related, but she knew it wasn’t. She hadn’t thought about anything but Ino’s words since she had left the cafe, her long hair tied up. Almost as yellow as the ominaeshi. Her stomach turned at the thought. What would their relationship be like, now that Ino thought of her… as more than just a friend? How  _ did _ Ino think of her, really?

_ Does she think I’m pretty? Does she like the way I dress? The way I do my hair?  _

Sakura suddenly felt conscious of the fact that she rarely ever even looked in the mirror getting ready these days. 

_ Does she want to turn our coffee dates into date-dates? Does she want more than that? _

Sakura felt something stir in her when she dared to dwell on the ‘more,’ and she quickly pushed the thought out of her mind. She decided to add a bath bomb to the water. It smelled sweet, like fresh picked flowers. It reminded her, she realized, of goofing around with Ino in her family’s flower shop when they were kids. 

Sakura was often picked on when she was younger. She always enjoyed rough play and being outdoors, and while this contributed to her desire to become a shinobi, it was also the primary reason she got teased by other kids. Words like ‘tomboy’ and ‘butchy’ were tossed around a lot, in addition to those constant comments about her forehead. When she first met Ino, the girl seemed wise beyond her years, telling her to be proud of herself and scaring away her tormentors. That had stopped her from keeping hair covering her forehead, but there were still other things. Teasing still hurt, and Sakura wondered if her decision to dress a little girlier at around that age was an attempt to combat this bullying. 

However, she never felt like she was faking any part of herself when she spent time with Ino. They may have both put on displays of girlishness when they deemed it suitable, but in private they couldn’t have cared less. Sakura’s memories of that flower shop mostly consisted of the two of them running around trying to practice close combat on each other. Countless times, they knocked things over, or ran headfirst into other customers, until Ino’s parents would order them outside. 

It had been a long time since Sakura gave herself time to remember these things. Life was starting to calm down for the first time in so long. The life of a shinobi was a lot of holding your breath, and waiting for what was next. But Sakura wondered if perhaps she should be a bit more assertive, now that there was room for her to exhale. Young Ino’s words of encouragement kept ringing in her ears. It’s not that she wasn’t proud of who she was; it was more that she didn’t fully know who she was yet. She knew she was a shinobi, and quite a talented one. She knew she was a highly skilled doctor. She knew she was a daughter, and a friend. But she didn’t know what she wanted. That part was missing. 

Ino seemed to know what she wanted. It was Sakura. Sakura was finally coming to terms with that reality. Ino didn’t want to be just her friend, she wanted… more. For some reason, this thought made her feel happy as she fell asleep that night, although she wouldn’t dare admit it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Made some minor cosmetic changes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made Sakura 19 because in my version of the story, the war went on much longer. (Or else it wouldn't be much of a war, in my opinion)
> 
> I swear, the good stuff is coming. There's just a lot I want to go into in terms of Sakura coming to terms with her identity and her feelings first! Got to give her that depth that Kishimoto never dared to give her, am I right? ANYWAYS...

One morning, October reaching out to the land hidden in the leaves with hands of orange and gold, Sakura woke up with an idea that motivated her to jump right out of bed. Her room, although average in size, felt very cramped. This room felt stuck, like it wouldn’t go where Sakura was headed. She knew what she needed to do. 

 

Dressing quickly, she hoped her parents were already awake so she could speak with them before leaving for work. Fortunately, they were both in the kitchen having their morning tea.

 

“Good morning mom, good morning dad.”

 

“You sound cheerful,” her mom said, clearly glad to see her with more energy than she’d had in many days.  

 

Sakura didn’t see any point in beating around the bush. “I’ve decided I’m going to look for my own place.” She wasn’t sure how her parents would respond to this, but truth be told she was tired of considering anyone but herself when she made a decision. And she was 19 years old, she shouldn’t have to ask her parents for their opinions anymore. Naruto and Sasuke lived by themselves most of their life, after all. If they could do it surely she, at this age, could handle being on her own.

 

Her parents looked surprised, but not unhappy. Her mom even smiled. “I think that’s a great idea, if you’re ready.”

 

“She’s a successful shinobi and doctor, of course she’s ready!” her father added.

 

Sakura felt herself becoming overjoyed about their positive reaction, but determined to come across as the adult she knew she was, she simply nodded and said “I’ll begin looking for a place after work tonight.”

 

She couldn’t wait to tell her friends about her decision.  _ I wonder what Ino will think _ . 

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Sakua finished signing the paperwork and could barely contain her joy as she went to meet Sai for lunch. The rainwater splashed against her toes as she walked.  _ I should have worn more suitable shoes _ , she thought. But she wasn’t bothered. This was the first time in a while she felt like she was actually behind the wheel of her own life. She wasn’t doing work around her parent’s house, she wasn’t taking care of the wounded on the battlefield, and she wasn’t, thank god, concerning herself with Naruto and Sasuke’s issues anymore. Not that she didn’t love them, and she certainly didn’t regret being a support line for the two of them in the months directly following the war, when everything was new and strange and uncertain, and they were unusually unsure of themselves. But they were together now, for the long haul, and they could rely on each other for the day to day challenges of adjusting to life after so much war and suffering and heartache. 

 

“Focus on yourself, Sakura!” Ino had scolded her, when she had tried asking how Ino was feeling for the upteenth day in a row. 

 

“I’m just trying to be thoughtful,” was her exasperated reply. But anytime Ino talked like that, she felt like a weight was being lifted off of her.

 

So yes, she was taking Ino’s advice. She was listening to the gentle but relentless tug of the chilly autumn air. She was moving forward for herself alone. 

 

In fact, the reason she made plans with Sai on the (momentous) day that she signed the lease to her new apartment is precisely because she felt he fit the theme of the day: independence. Sai was a relieving friend to have around, if sometimes blunt to a fault. He rarely asked for help from others, always preferring to solve matters his own way, even when it necessitated several hours of research about “socializing” beforehand. He wasn’t clingy, and Sakura relished the fact that their relationship was never based off of what she could do for him.

 

He was leaning on the wall next to the doors of the restaurant when she waved at him and was met with his typical perfect (too perfect) smile. He was very, very wet.

 

“Sai what are you doing?” She couldn’t decide between scolding or laughing. 

 

“I thought this was the proper way to meet a friend for lunch. To sit inside and order a drink would be rude.”

 

“Pro tip: mundane social rituals get trumped by bad weather every time,” Sakura retorted. Sai was still Sai, that was good to know. 

 

Sakura talked and talked about her new place in between bites of food. Sai listened carefully, nodding at all the right times. As usual, he was a man of few words, but really, there wasn’t much he needed to say. That was the kind of friendship they had and Sakura liked that.  _ Plus, it’s better than when he’s opening his mouth to make a smartass remark, _ she thought. 

 

“I’m going to head up to the furniture shop next weekend, I’m so excited! I want every room to have a different theme. You should see this place, there’s enough space for me to use one entire room as an office! I’ve never had an office before! Oh, and I’m going to have to get a bunch of items for my kitchen too, because I’m going to start learning how to cook my own meals for once! My own kitchen! I can’t believe I nearly forgot!  Ino promised to come over and cook me dinner once I’m settled in but besides that, from this point on just call me Chef!”

 

Sai beamed. “Congratulations on ‘hitting that’, Chef!” 

 

Sakura stared incredulously at his enthusiastic ‘thumbs up’ and raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

 

“I was glad to come meet you here today so I could congratulate you on finally getting a girlfriend, but it seems it’s going even better than I thought it would! You’re already making plans to ‘take it to the next level,’ yes?”

 

“Sai that’s….” Sakura’s face contorted. She could feel herself turning red.  _ Out of embarrassment or anger? _ she wondered. “Ino and I are not a couple…. And we most certainly are not hooking up!”

 

“My apologies, Chef. According to one of my books, a girlfriend inviting themselves over to your place of residency is an excuse to, hmm, how was it phrased? ‘Get in their pants,’ yes?”

 

Sakura’s face felt hot.  _ Both, _ she decided. _ It’s both.  _ She could smack him right now, she swore to god…

 

Sai laughed nervously. “Please don’t hit me, Chef.” 

 

“Stop calling me Chef!” she growled. She may have also pounded her fist on the table a little too aggressively, causing people around her to stare. 

 

She slouched down in her seat and crossed her arms. Sai looked like he was ready to jump out of his seat and high tail it out of there any moment. 

 

_ Wimp _ , she thought, smugly. 

 

She sighed deeply. “Sai, Ino and I….we aren’t girlfriends. We aren’t in any relationship of any kind. Where did you get that idea from?”   
  


“Ino told me a while back she was planning to confess to you, and I just assumed you’d started dating by now,” Sai shrugged matter-of-factly. 

 

“What...why would you assume I wanted to date her?” Sakura couldn’t believe his audacity. Well actually, she could, but she was still flustered by it. 

 

Sai shrugged again. “Well she’s cute right? At least that’s what people say. And you’re friends aren’t you? That’s how Naruto and Sasuke started off. And,” he added, nodding sincerely, “you are a lesbian, after all. So I figured you’d jump at the chance. I know how it is, after all. Being gay severely limits your….options. That’s why I’m still single, after all.”

 

Sakura wanted to tell him he was still single because he was the most tactless, infuriating man in Konahagakure. But she couldn’t even find her words.

 

“Sakura, you look really shocked…. Did you see a spirit on your way over here?”

 

“I...I don’t know what you mean…” she croaked. “I’m not...why do you think I’m….a lesbian?” she whispered.

 

Sai looked genuinely puzzled. “I was under the impression that your orientation was common knowledge. Is it supposed to be a secret?”

 

“Sai, it’s still a secret to me! I’m not… I’m not gay, Sai.”

 

“You’re not? Really? I find that a little hard to believe. I can always tell. I’ve never been wrong before,” he bragged, very proud of his deceptive abilities. “That’s why no man I’ve approached has ever refused me.”

 

Sakura rolled her eyes despite herself. She didn’t even want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she was riled up, but this was just too much. “Well,” she said, aggravated, “you’re wrong this time. I’m not gay.”

 

Sai frowned at her, clearly trying to wrap his hands around this new information. _ What is that look on his face? Is that… genuine concern? What is so worried about? _

 

“I apologize.” He knew it was always best to say this sooner rather than later when he got Sakura angry. It saved his butt on several occasions when he didn’t know what he had said that was so wrong. “I used the context clues I gathered from being around you and learning more about you as we became friends to determine you were, in fact, a lesbian. Apparently, I was incorrect. Please forgive me.” The apology sounded stiff and rehearsed, but Sakura knew this was Sai’s way of expressing genuine regret.  _ And fear, heh. _

 

For some reason, she couldn’t feel mad at him anymore.  _ I give up _ , she thought, exasperated. It seemed she couldn’t meet up with a friend these days without hearing something shocking. Sai watched with mild amusement as she took a very long sip of the wine she had barely touched with her meal. “Sai… can I ask you why you thought I was…” she still had trouble saying the word. “Uh, a...lesbian?”

 

“To put it simply,” Sai said, trying to choose his words carefully, “I’ve never heard you express an interest in men, like other women I have spent time with. In fact, I have seen men do what my books have taught me would be called ‘flirting,’ on multiple occasions, but you have never taken any note. And well, all of your friends are gay so I kind of assumed you were by, uh, default?” He really was trying to be cautious. He cared about Sakura. Plus he wasn’t interested in getting a black eye today. 

 

Sakura swirled what remained of the wine in her glass.  _ All my friends aren’t gay - wait - shit _ , she thought.  _ All my friends really are gay _ .  _ Naruto, Sauske, Sai…. _ And now that Ino had confessed her feelings for Sakura, Sakura realized she was, in fact, the only one of her good friends who wasn’t - who couldn’t be - who was definitely not gay.  _ Right? _

 

Suddenly, Sakura felt very off-balance.  _ Too much to drink already? _ No, it wasn’t possible after one glass.  _ Of course not, idiot.  _ She had to acknowledge that Sai’s words were deeply troubling. Sure she hadn’t taken any interest in men and had found herself surrounded by gay friends but… that didn’t mean she had to be gay right? 

 

Sakura knew it didn’t, that it was all so ridiculous, but she couldn’t help but wonder. The rest of the meal went by in a blur. 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

She tried to stop thinking about it. She tried to ignore Sai’s patient, matter-of-fact tone about her supposed gayness from that afternoon and his blatant surprise by her protestations.  _ Sai is a moron. _ Of course he was. But the more she tried, the more she felt something inside her reacting to the idea. Her mind was, much to her frustration, letting Sai’s unwelcome words seep in as she went through her daily tasks at work and at home.  She analyzed samples, and the question wormed it’s way in.  _ Am I gay? _ She packed up her bedroom, and the thoughts swirled around like leaves in the wind.  _ How could I be? What if I am? _

  
Nearly a month later, and moving day had finally arrived. Sakura finished sweeping up her empty bedroom. Even with nothing in it, it wasn’t big enough to contain the person she was anymore.   _ If I am gay, is there anything wrong with that? Could I be a lesbian, and still be me? _ Lately, the presence of such thoughts felt like less of an enemy invasion and more like an ally from another land, kindly lending a hand. 


End file.
